Seeing the Light
Posted in Uncategorized with tags AIDS, beauty, creativity, HIV, Illness on May 12, 2012 by ronigraceHe has always created light in my eyes. Even now, in the face of extreme illness and devastation, he is busy painting the world the way he wants it-full of color and wonder…I think he is magical.
When we were middle school kids navigating our way through Mrs. Kathy’s Theater Group’s oh-so-riveting performance of The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe, the talented Jeff was given not one but two lead rolls plus a piano solo. I was given the roll of Father Christmas in one scene, mainly out of pity and the fact that, at the time, I was the tallest in the group. I’ll never forget the eager Mr. Beaver, dressed as a giant, half-melted M&M, commenting under his breath as I handed him the sword “But I wanted a dildo…”. I didn’t succeed as an actor and I largely blame him for causing such distraction in my debut role.
We all knew he was gay, probably before he did. Nobody seemed to care. He was always such a delight. It was a surprise to no-one when he left high school in tenth grade to go to an arts school. The big debate was would he go for music or acting. No one I knew was more suited.
He’s always worked in a creative field where he can express himself and create beauty. He recently moved to a large property that he has cultivated and worked to make self-sustainable. His desire to live his life organically and with as little impact on the environment is contagious. His property is full of edible plants of all varieties. He makes the supplies he needs: candles, soaps, dried foods; he’s even building a windmill on his property to accommodate any desire for electricity. He easily enlists the help of neighbors and friends with his enthusiasm and energy. It’s all so aesthetically pleasing, a wonder for any eyes.
We’ve lost touch many times over the years, but always find each other. When we do, it’s a comfortable reunion, like we were just together the day before. It’s those friendships that are real and everlasting.
During his recent stay in the hospital he requested magazines and tape. Friends brought these items en mass and he spent his time cutting out pictures to make a collage on the bland hospital walls of his room. He took apart the plants and flowers people had brought, blending them together into masterpieces, rearranged the furniture so that it flowed better and got a humidifier with essential oils of eucalyptus and black cohosh. By the time he was discharged the place looked more like a natural spa than a hospital room and his only complaint was that he was released before he had time to finish his collage.
He was diagnosed with MAC, an AIDS related bacterial infection. While this meant a change in his HIV status, he was thrilled to be given a “designer” diagnosis, one that went along with his other Apple products.
He had never told us of his HIV diagnosis. Perhaps it was out of fear of persecution; perhaps he didn’t want to worry us. I’m sure he had his reasons. But now he is in a cathartic process of saying it out loud to us all and finding out just how much we really love him. If anyone turns their back on him I guess he is ready to accept that too.
Seeing him on this recent visit was difficult and life-affirming. I have been doing a lot of soul searching in my own life recently and somehow our visit made all my problems petty and pointless. Seeing how his beautiful soul handles even the darkest moments is inspirational.
Skin over bone, the lines on his face deeper and more defined, I wouldn’t recognize him but for his smile-that hasn’t changed; in my mind it never will.
When we were middle school kids navigating our way through Mrs. Kathy’s Theater Group’s oh-so-riveting performance of The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe, the talented Jeff was given not one but two lead rolls plus a piano solo. I was given the roll of Father Christmas in one scene, mainly out of pity and the fact that, at the time, I was the tallest in the group. I’ll never forget the eager Mr. Beaver, dressed as a giant, half-melted M&M, commenting under his breath as I handed him the sword “But I wanted a dildo…”. I didn’t succeed as an actor and I largely blame him for causing such distraction in my debut role.
We all knew he was gay, probably before he did. Nobody seemed to care. He was always such a delight. It was a surprise to no-one when he left high school in tenth grade to go to an arts school. The big debate was would he go for music or acting. No one I knew was more suited.
He’s always worked in a creative field where he can express himself and create beauty. He recently moved to a large property that he has cultivated and worked to make self-sustainable. His desire to live his life organically and with as little impact on the environment is contagious. His property is full of edible plants of all varieties. He makes the supplies he needs: candles, soaps, dried foods; he’s even building a windmill on his property to accommodate any desire for electricity. He easily enlists the help of neighbors and friends with his enthusiasm and energy. It’s all so aesthetically pleasing, a wonder for any eyes.
We’ve lost touch many times over the years, but always find each other. When we do, it’s a comfortable reunion, like we were just together the day before. It’s those friendships that are real and everlasting.
During his recent stay in the hospital he requested magazines and tape. Friends brought these items en mass and he spent his time cutting out pictures to make a collage on the bland hospital walls of his room. He took apart the plants and flowers people had brought, blending them together into masterpieces, rearranged the furniture so that it flowed better and got a humidifier with essential oils of eucalyptus and black cohosh. By the time he was discharged the place looked more like a natural spa than a hospital room and his only complaint was that he was released before he had time to finish his collage.
He was diagnosed with MAC, an AIDS related bacterial infection. While this meant a change in his HIV status, he was thrilled to be given a “designer” diagnosis, one that went along with his other Apple products.
He had never told us of his HIV diagnosis. Perhaps it was out of fear of persecution; perhaps he didn’t want to worry us. I’m sure he had his reasons. But now he is in a cathartic process of saying it out loud to us all and finding out just how much we really love him. If anyone turns their back on him I guess he is ready to accept that too.
Seeing him on this recent visit was difficult and life-affirming. I have been doing a lot of soul searching in my own life recently and somehow our visit made all my problems petty and pointless. Seeing how his beautiful soul handles even the darkest moments is inspirational.
Skin over bone, the lines on his face deeper and more defined, I wouldn’t recognize him but for his smile-that hasn’t changed; in my mind it never will.
Crowd-funding: Viva la Revolution!
Posted in Uncategorized with tags Amanda Palmer, Ben Folds, Crowd-fundingon May 8, 2012 by ronigraceMany years ago, back in the stone ages, I was forced by a very drab english professor to write a paper comparing and contrasting business protocols in what we now know as the dawn of the information age to that of the industrial revolution. I don’t specifically remember what the point of the paper was (I have yet to finish my coffee), but I do remember what I got out of it. I think, with all the focus the last month on crowd-funding projects, my theory is even more relevant.
I noticed, when I was writing my paper, there was a trend towards people working for themselves. I had been married to a corporate big-wig and, through general observation, saw they were hiring more and more consultants and fewer employees. People were opening up more small businesses as support for other businesses, which gave them control over their career and their lives. Sure, it meant other headaches including networking, marketing, financial management… but the point is THEY had control and could ultimately take THEIR career in the direction THEY wanted it to go.
Look around you. How many people have started in some way to work for themselves? Maybe some of it is by force, having lost a job in the recession, but i also think it is just getting easier to do. Personal trainers, massage therapists, house painters, educational consultants – the list never ends. It’s happening all around. It’s easier now than ever – get some business cards printed up, build a website and BAM! You’re in business. You just have to know how to market yourself and you can do it…. which brings me to my point – the internet has changed everything.
It used to be that artists, writers, film-makers, musicians and the like were forced to work under the authoritarian rule of big corporations; there was no other way to reach the masses with their work. So what happened? An artist would submit their work to the Powers That Be and then get dragged in and told it wasn’t marketable and given a list of changes. The artist, bound by a contract and possibly feeling the strain of having to deliver so that they could “make it” would be forced to take the advice of the corporate management. It would involve them going back and making the changes, trying to keep some semblance of their work intact but selling their soul in the process (what is art once the soul is gone?). This process would go back and forth until finally the corporations would be happy and the work would be released and we would all see, read or hear some version of it that was being crammed down our proverbial throats in some commercial form or another. And this is all assuming they even were noticed by the corporation to begin with!
Why is this a problem? Well, once it’s gone through that process it’s no longer art – you’re being spoon fed some controlled substance that is no longer what it was intended to be, but it IS what the corporations want you to eat. Hmmmmm….. Sort of sounds like a sci-fi book to me.
So many great, important projects have never even seen the light of day because they are not up to corporate management standards.
Now the internet has put the control back into the hands of the artist, if he or she knows how to harness it (or can get a good group of people behind them to help make it happen – read THIS awesome article by Amanda Palmer:http://www.techdirt.com/blog/casestudies/articles/20120502/15324918745/how-amanda-palmer-built-army-supporters-connecting-each-every-day-person-person.shtml?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter )
Here’s the way it works: you go to the crowd-funding site which, if the artist knows how to play the game, will be linked all over the place via twitter, facebook and their websites. You pledge them a dollar amount for their project. In return for your pledge there will be all sorts of goodies, including a copy of some sort of the work you are sponsoring. Once the artist reaches the goal it’s not over. More money means a greater ability to create and promote their project, and if there are funds left over they have a plan for the extra (such as donating to other projects or charities that the project may be related to). You get to be part of something bigger than yourself and you’ll get to enjoy the project when it is completed. It’s win/win. Why wouldn’t you do this if you were planning to buy the completed work anyway? It’s just an advance payment!
My two favorite projects right now are Ben Folds Fivewww.pledgemusic.com/projects/benfoldsfive (are you shocked?) and Amanda Palmer www.kickstarter.com/projects/amandapalmer/amanda-palmer-the-new-record-art-book-and-tour . I am a huge fan of both and I feel good supporting them to continue on their paths of making something real, but don’t think just because I have supported them that you have to. There are thousands of projects on these sites looking for help. That’s the beauty of it- we can support what we each really like. Just go and find something that interests you – some big, some small, some books, some film, some music… So much to explore!
OR you could just save your money for when I announce my project later this year…. Or just do nothing and listen to the Z Morning Zoo and be one of the zombies. That’s perfectly fine with me because then you’ll be easier to control when I roll out my master plan to….
(Speaking of zombies – if you like zombie films there is a great fundraiser on twitter for an independent zombie film @indywoodfilms He’s been going at it since May of 2009 and is the definition of persistence).
So, my plea to all of you is please, please put the control back in the hands of the people who matter most – the artists. Otherwise we might as well all be hooked up to the Matrix.
If you believe in something or someone support it fiercely. It will pay off in the end. I promise. Join the revolution!
GO!
www.kickstarter.com
www.pledgemusic.com
I noticed, when I was writing my paper, there was a trend towards people working for themselves. I had been married to a corporate big-wig and, through general observation, saw they were hiring more and more consultants and fewer employees. People were opening up more small businesses as support for other businesses, which gave them control over their career and their lives. Sure, it meant other headaches including networking, marketing, financial management… but the point is THEY had control and could ultimately take THEIR career in the direction THEY wanted it to go.
Look around you. How many people have started in some way to work for themselves? Maybe some of it is by force, having lost a job in the recession, but i also think it is just getting easier to do. Personal trainers, massage therapists, house painters, educational consultants – the list never ends. It’s happening all around. It’s easier now than ever – get some business cards printed up, build a website and BAM! You’re in business. You just have to know how to market yourself and you can do it…. which brings me to my point – the internet has changed everything.
It used to be that artists, writers, film-makers, musicians and the like were forced to work under the authoritarian rule of big corporations; there was no other way to reach the masses with their work. So what happened? An artist would submit their work to the Powers That Be and then get dragged in and told it wasn’t marketable and given a list of changes. The artist, bound by a contract and possibly feeling the strain of having to deliver so that they could “make it” would be forced to take the advice of the corporate management. It would involve them going back and making the changes, trying to keep some semblance of their work intact but selling their soul in the process (what is art once the soul is gone?). This process would go back and forth until finally the corporations would be happy and the work would be released and we would all see, read or hear some version of it that was being crammed down our proverbial throats in some commercial form or another. And this is all assuming they even were noticed by the corporation to begin with!
Why is this a problem? Well, once it’s gone through that process it’s no longer art – you’re being spoon fed some controlled substance that is no longer what it was intended to be, but it IS what the corporations want you to eat. Hmmmmm….. Sort of sounds like a sci-fi book to me.
So many great, important projects have never even seen the light of day because they are not up to corporate management standards.
Now the internet has put the control back into the hands of the artist, if he or she knows how to harness it (or can get a good group of people behind them to help make it happen – read THIS awesome article by Amanda Palmer:http://www.techdirt.com/blog/casestudies/articles/20120502/15324918745/how-amanda-palmer-built-army-supporters-connecting-each-every-day-person-person.shtml?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter )
Here’s the way it works: you go to the crowd-funding site which, if the artist knows how to play the game, will be linked all over the place via twitter, facebook and their websites. You pledge them a dollar amount for their project. In return for your pledge there will be all sorts of goodies, including a copy of some sort of the work you are sponsoring. Once the artist reaches the goal it’s not over. More money means a greater ability to create and promote their project, and if there are funds left over they have a plan for the extra (such as donating to other projects or charities that the project may be related to). You get to be part of something bigger than yourself and you’ll get to enjoy the project when it is completed. It’s win/win. Why wouldn’t you do this if you were planning to buy the completed work anyway? It’s just an advance payment!
My two favorite projects right now are Ben Folds Fivewww.pledgemusic.com/projects/benfoldsfive (are you shocked?) and Amanda Palmer www.kickstarter.com/projects/amandapalmer/amanda-palmer-the-new-record-art-book-and-tour . I am a huge fan of both and I feel good supporting them to continue on their paths of making something real, but don’t think just because I have supported them that you have to. There are thousands of projects on these sites looking for help. That’s the beauty of it- we can support what we each really like. Just go and find something that interests you – some big, some small, some books, some film, some music… So much to explore!
OR you could just save your money for when I announce my project later this year…. Or just do nothing and listen to the Z Morning Zoo and be one of the zombies. That’s perfectly fine with me because then you’ll be easier to control when I roll out my master plan to….
(Speaking of zombies – if you like zombie films there is a great fundraiser on twitter for an independent zombie film @indywoodfilms He’s been going at it since May of 2009 and is the definition of persistence).
So, my plea to all of you is please, please put the control back in the hands of the people who matter most – the artists. Otherwise we might as well all be hooked up to the Matrix.
If you believe in something or someone support it fiercely. It will pay off in the end. I promise. Join the revolution!
GO!
www.kickstarter.com
www.pledgemusic.com
I NEED HELP!
Posted in Uncategorized on May 6, 2012 by ronigraceI need help.
Seriously, this is a problem for me to admit to myself or anyone. I honestly have this thing in my nature that makes me think I don’t need anyone’s help or guidance and I am trying to change that this year. I have NEVER been able to ask for it, mainly because I don’t think I deserve it or possibly need it, but I do.
Here’s what is going on: I have embarked on a career as a writer and I am also going for my Yoga teacher certification and plan on starting a small charity later this year having to do with my yoga career. I work a full time job, have a family and a house and all the bullshit that goes along with it. I know people do this shit all the time, but I am at a breaking point and need some assistance if I am going to be able to push forward.
My belief is that promotion and getting the word out there is 80% of success and, while I am good at that, I just don’t have time to do it right. This is where I need someone who is willing to put forth some effort and initiative to get it done.
What I need is someone who is internet savvy, isn’t afraid to learn and research, can help me find new ways to “get the word out” and has a little time to put forth in helping me now in hopes that as I build my empire they will be there to build along with me.
I need a website built, not a complicated one but one that is more comprehensive than what I have and can hold some advertising and be a bit more interactive. I need promotion and possible fundraising ideas. I need someone to set up and manage a facebook page (I really hate to admit this). What I need is someone who can handle the day to day so I can focus on what I need to do to get it done. It would be helpful if you are good with grammar/words as I may need some copywriting done. You may possibly have to wipe my ass on occasion, but we will get to that later (IT’S A JOKE!). But what I really need is someone I can work with and who understands the things I am trying to accomplish.
I cannot pay you for this, not now. I can however agree that as I grow so will you. Eventually, if we work well together, this would become a career,with pay, time off and all the good stuff.
This is an opportunity for someone who has a little time – not full time, not yet – and maybe wants to start something on the side.
I have no idea really what this is going to entail in the end, but I need to start the dialog soon so I can move forward. It’s an idea in progress, and one that can be quite fluid depending on who responds.
IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN TALKING MORE ABOUT THIS, please send me an email at ronigrace04@yahoo.com and tell me about yourself and why you are interested in helping out. You don’t have to live near me, by the way. I think what I need can be done from anywhere in this age of digital wonder. Thanks guys! I know we are going to do great things together!
Seriously, this is a problem for me to admit to myself or anyone. I honestly have this thing in my nature that makes me think I don’t need anyone’s help or guidance and I am trying to change that this year. I have NEVER been able to ask for it, mainly because I don’t think I deserve it or possibly need it, but I do.
Here’s what is going on: I have embarked on a career as a writer and I am also going for my Yoga teacher certification and plan on starting a small charity later this year having to do with my yoga career. I work a full time job, have a family and a house and all the bullshit that goes along with it. I know people do this shit all the time, but I am at a breaking point and need some assistance if I am going to be able to push forward.
My belief is that promotion and getting the word out there is 80% of success and, while I am good at that, I just don’t have time to do it right. This is where I need someone who is willing to put forth some effort and initiative to get it done.
What I need is someone who is internet savvy, isn’t afraid to learn and research, can help me find new ways to “get the word out” and has a little time to put forth in helping me now in hopes that as I build my empire they will be there to build along with me.
I need a website built, not a complicated one but one that is more comprehensive than what I have and can hold some advertising and be a bit more interactive. I need promotion and possible fundraising ideas. I need someone to set up and manage a facebook page (I really hate to admit this). What I need is someone who can handle the day to day so I can focus on what I need to do to get it done. It would be helpful if you are good with grammar/words as I may need some copywriting done. You may possibly have to wipe my ass on occasion, but we will get to that later (IT’S A JOKE!). But what I really need is someone I can work with and who understands the things I am trying to accomplish.
I cannot pay you for this, not now. I can however agree that as I grow so will you. Eventually, if we work well together, this would become a career,with pay, time off and all the good stuff.
This is an opportunity for someone who has a little time – not full time, not yet – and maybe wants to start something on the side.
I have no idea really what this is going to entail in the end, but I need to start the dialog soon so I can move forward. It’s an idea in progress, and one that can be quite fluid depending on who responds.
IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN TALKING MORE ABOUT THIS, please send me an email at ronigrace04@yahoo.com and tell me about yourself and why you are interested in helping out. You don’t have to live near me, by the way. I think what I need can be done from anywhere in this age of digital wonder. Thanks guys! I know we are going to do great things together!
A Meditation
Posted in Uncategorized with tags earth, Meditation, nature, spiritual on May 4, 2012 by ronigraceHeavy.
I melt into the dirt and grass,
Not feeling it yet knowing it completely.
It swallows me until all that is left is the vague impression of my face in the earth.
Roots begin to reach out and spread from what I once perceived as me or I; my body.
All the while I can see the feathery white cotton puffs floating amongst the blue above,
Making their way to nowhere in particular.
The roots grow deeper in lengths and curls;
The tendrils reach and twist their way farther into darkness entwining with those of the trees and plants on the edge of the meadow and throughout the earth.
It is me and I am it and we are not distinguishable or separate.
I am no longer; not past, nor present, nor future.
This is peace.
I melt into the dirt and grass,
Not feeling it yet knowing it completely.
It swallows me until all that is left is the vague impression of my face in the earth.
Roots begin to reach out and spread from what I once perceived as me or I; my body.
All the while I can see the feathery white cotton puffs floating amongst the blue above,
Making their way to nowhere in particular.
The roots grow deeper in lengths and curls;
The tendrils reach and twist their way farther into darkness entwining with those of the trees and plants on the edge of the meadow and throughout the earth.
It is me and I am it and we are not distinguishable or separate.
I am no longer; not past, nor present, nor future.
This is peace.
Naked – My first flash fiction, a 55er
Posted in Uncategorized with tags 55er, flash fiction on April 11, 2012 by ronigraceHe stares at me as I pick up my bra;
The floor scattered with clothes from our guilty moment.
Naked now, finished being vulnerable and losing control.
I wonder if he thinks I’m beautiful,
now that I’ve shown it all,
now that I’ve broken promises.
My insecurities overwhelm me.
I gave myself
to him
freely.
The floor scattered with clothes from our guilty moment.
Naked now, finished being vulnerable and losing control.
I wonder if he thinks I’m beautiful,
now that I’ve shown it all,
now that I’ve broken promises.
My insecurities overwhelm me.
I gave myself
to him
freely.
It Was a Good Trip
Posted in Off to see the world with tags Ben Folds, self exploration, travel on March 25, 2012 by ronigraceIt was a good trip.
As most of you know, I have been on a trip to see my favorite musician perform at the North Carolina Symphony. Not only did I get to see him perform twice in two amazing shows, I got to meet the man. I also got to meet a few other Fold’s fans and create one or two along the way.
Mr. Folds turned out to be even nicer and more approachable than I could have imagined. He is very genuine, friendly and truly humble. He seems to really appreciate his fans and each one of them seems to hold value in his eyes. We chatted about his music, his shows and playing with the Symphony. He is very excited about the new songs coming out of his reunion with his old band Ben Fold’s Five, an album I and most true fans cannot wait to get our hands on! I couldn’t have enjoyed my time with him more. He is truly down to earth and wonderful.
I spent the evening with a lovely woman that many of you may know as @thePlumPudding. Plum (as she will henceforth be known) was an interesting, funny and articulate woman who I truly enjoyed spending some time with. Plum was an anthropology major specializing in Religions, so she had some very well thought out views on the world and some of the problems we are facing. Of particular note to the evening, Plum was also a cellist and grew up in a house full of musicians. She was a great person to have along with me as she was highly knowledgeable about the symphony and music theory. She was also a Ben Folds fan and was familiar with some of his songs, so it was fun for her to see him with the symphony. She was thoroughly impressed with Mr. Fold’s abilities and antics on stage.
Regarding the performances, Mr. Fold’s has never disappointed me. I’ve seen this man perform more times than I can recall and I have never seen him perform the same song the same way twice. There’s always a new twist or a new direction he takes things, and it is always a complete joy. He is a master at making the audience feel like they are part of the show and I’ve never heard of anyone leaving a show unsatisfied.
On the first night, Mr. Fold’s had the audience singing in harmony to Not the Same when one somewhat inebriated gentleman sang completely off-key. Mr. Folds drew attention to the man who took full ownership of his actions by standing to sing (again off-key) his part. Mr. Folds went on to write a complete song, onstage, entitled The Lonely Douchebag. Before it was over, he had the entire orchestra, including choir and Saxophone solo, playing along. I’ve seen him do this numerous times-making up a song on stage-but with the full orchestra involved, and the humor of the lonely, bearded, beer-drinking yahoo thrown in, it was an instant classic. I wish there was a recording I could show you all. This is why I love him (okay, one of many, many reasons).
Raleigh was quite a lovely town. I was able to wander the streets and eat a few meals there. I was easily able to find vegetarian food and healthy options for dining. I stayed at a lovely Inn called the Oakwood Bed and Breakfast which sat in the heart of the historic district. The streets were lined with flowering trees and old Victorian era homes. The people were quite friendly and helpful. There are several institutions of higher education within the city so there are more modern sections of town and there is plenty of Bohemian culture to be found. There were art, science and history museums, a generous performing arts center and, being the capitol of North Carolina, plenty of government related findings as well.
This trip served a few purposes for me. One of them was the sheer need to get away from the everyday and clear my head. I’m not really sure if I accomplished that, or just added a few more pieces in there to juggle around. I will probably not know the real answer to that until some time has passed. We all have our demons and our angels, and sometimes we can’t be sure which is which. All I know is that I am growing, and I had been stagnant for far too long. It’s time.
As most of you know, I have been on a trip to see my favorite musician perform at the North Carolina Symphony. Not only did I get to see him perform twice in two amazing shows, I got to meet the man. I also got to meet a few other Fold’s fans and create one or two along the way.
Mr. Folds turned out to be even nicer and more approachable than I could have imagined. He is very genuine, friendly and truly humble. He seems to really appreciate his fans and each one of them seems to hold value in his eyes. We chatted about his music, his shows and playing with the Symphony. He is very excited about the new songs coming out of his reunion with his old band Ben Fold’s Five, an album I and most true fans cannot wait to get our hands on! I couldn’t have enjoyed my time with him more. He is truly down to earth and wonderful.
I spent the evening with a lovely woman that many of you may know as @thePlumPudding. Plum (as she will henceforth be known) was an interesting, funny and articulate woman who I truly enjoyed spending some time with. Plum was an anthropology major specializing in Religions, so she had some very well thought out views on the world and some of the problems we are facing. Of particular note to the evening, Plum was also a cellist and grew up in a house full of musicians. She was a great person to have along with me as she was highly knowledgeable about the symphony and music theory. She was also a Ben Folds fan and was familiar with some of his songs, so it was fun for her to see him with the symphony. She was thoroughly impressed with Mr. Fold’s abilities and antics on stage.
Regarding the performances, Mr. Fold’s has never disappointed me. I’ve seen this man perform more times than I can recall and I have never seen him perform the same song the same way twice. There’s always a new twist or a new direction he takes things, and it is always a complete joy. He is a master at making the audience feel like they are part of the show and I’ve never heard of anyone leaving a show unsatisfied.
On the first night, Mr. Fold’s had the audience singing in harmony to Not the Same when one somewhat inebriated gentleman sang completely off-key. Mr. Folds drew attention to the man who took full ownership of his actions by standing to sing (again off-key) his part. Mr. Folds went on to write a complete song, onstage, entitled The Lonely Douchebag. Before it was over, he had the entire orchestra, including choir and Saxophone solo, playing along. I’ve seen him do this numerous times-making up a song on stage-but with the full orchestra involved, and the humor of the lonely, bearded, beer-drinking yahoo thrown in, it was an instant classic. I wish there was a recording I could show you all. This is why I love him (okay, one of many, many reasons).
Raleigh was quite a lovely town. I was able to wander the streets and eat a few meals there. I was easily able to find vegetarian food and healthy options for dining. I stayed at a lovely Inn called the Oakwood Bed and Breakfast which sat in the heart of the historic district. The streets were lined with flowering trees and old Victorian era homes. The people were quite friendly and helpful. There are several institutions of higher education within the city so there are more modern sections of town and there is plenty of Bohemian culture to be found. There were art, science and history museums, a generous performing arts center and, being the capitol of North Carolina, plenty of government related findings as well.
This trip served a few purposes for me. One of them was the sheer need to get away from the everyday and clear my head. I’m not really sure if I accomplished that, or just added a few more pieces in there to juggle around. I will probably not know the real answer to that until some time has passed. We all have our demons and our angels, and sometimes we can’t be sure which is which. All I know is that I am growing, and I had been stagnant for far too long. It’s time.
My Next Adventure
Posted in Off to see the world with tags Ben Folds, self exploration, travel on March 11, 2012 by ronigraceI have been a mom for twenty years. Saying that out loud has got to be the most surreal thing I can think of doing. How can I be old enough to have a child about to enter his twenties? I’m barely twenty myself, in my head. But somehow the years have crept by and I have come to realize I have spent half my life taking care-albeit badly-of other people. So this year I have decided it’s time to accomplish some of the things I want to do.
My problem began when I realized I didn’t actually know what those things were. I’ve always had varied interests and enjoyed many different activities, but never seem to settle on one thing. Sometimes I think that’s a good thing-I never get bored that way- but you don’t accomplish a lot when you constantly jump from one thing to the next without focusing any real energy on perfecting something. So a while back I set out to answer the question: What do you want to be when you grow up? The answer: I want to be a writer.
This realization doesn’t have a lot to do with this blog, however, it does have to do with the reason I’m writing it. I think any good writer has to do some self exploration and get out into the world to find their identity a little. So, I found myself an excuse to get out there and do a little exploring. The excuse: Ben Folds is going on tour.
Yes. I said that. Me, a forty-three year old mother of two is a total fangirl.
Now, before you run away thinking this is going to be a blog about Mr. Folds and how wonderful he is, please stick with me for a few more words. Yes, he is wonderful. Yes, I will probably give some reports about his shows and what went on. However, my plan is for this to be about my travels and the people I meet and things I see along the way. I hope, in each town I go, to be able to meet some of you and get to know a little about your world in the process. I have been here, living in New Jersey, for half of my life and really haven’t ventured out as much as I would have liked. It’s time for that to change, and time for me to change a bit, too.
I won’t be making it to all the shows. In fact, I will probably mainly stick to the northeastern US and places I can drive for an overnight trip. Perhaps I will go a bit farther on occasion, but unless you guys want to fund my trip (I’ll wear a t-shirt advertising your business!) I’m stuck trying to pay bills and be somewhat responsible like the rest of you (I assume a lot).
So that’s it in a nutshell. My first trip will be to Raleigh, NC on March 22 to see Mr. Folds perform with the North Carolina Symphony Orchestra. My sexy date will be the lovely @ThePlumPudding and being that it’s the symphony and not a rock concert we will be playing dress-up. Generally my blue jeans are as far as it goes, but I clean up real nice… so they say.
If any of you will be making it to Mr. Fold’s shows please give me a shout. If you don’t scare the ever-loving fuck out of me (that rules a lot of you out right off the bat) perhaps I will interview you for a blog post!
Rock on kids!
My problem began when I realized I didn’t actually know what those things were. I’ve always had varied interests and enjoyed many different activities, but never seem to settle on one thing. Sometimes I think that’s a good thing-I never get bored that way- but you don’t accomplish a lot when you constantly jump from one thing to the next without focusing any real energy on perfecting something. So a while back I set out to answer the question: What do you want to be when you grow up? The answer: I want to be a writer.
This realization doesn’t have a lot to do with this blog, however, it does have to do with the reason I’m writing it. I think any good writer has to do some self exploration and get out into the world to find their identity a little. So, I found myself an excuse to get out there and do a little exploring. The excuse: Ben Folds is going on tour.
Yes. I said that. Me, a forty-three year old mother of two is a total fangirl.
Now, before you run away thinking this is going to be a blog about Mr. Folds and how wonderful he is, please stick with me for a few more words. Yes, he is wonderful. Yes, I will probably give some reports about his shows and what went on. However, my plan is for this to be about my travels and the people I meet and things I see along the way. I hope, in each town I go, to be able to meet some of you and get to know a little about your world in the process. I have been here, living in New Jersey, for half of my life and really haven’t ventured out as much as I would have liked. It’s time for that to change, and time for me to change a bit, too.
I won’t be making it to all the shows. In fact, I will probably mainly stick to the northeastern US and places I can drive for an overnight trip. Perhaps I will go a bit farther on occasion, but unless you guys want to fund my trip (I’ll wear a t-shirt advertising your business!) I’m stuck trying to pay bills and be somewhat responsible like the rest of you (I assume a lot).
So that’s it in a nutshell. My first trip will be to Raleigh, NC on March 22 to see Mr. Folds perform with the North Carolina Symphony Orchestra. My sexy date will be the lovely @ThePlumPudding and being that it’s the symphony and not a rock concert we will be playing dress-up. Generally my blue jeans are as far as it goes, but I clean up real nice… so they say.
If any of you will be making it to Mr. Fold’s shows please give me a shout. If you don’t scare the ever-loving fuck out of me (that rules a lot of you out right off the bat) perhaps I will interview you for a blog post!
Rock on kids!
Let Go – An Ode To My Yoga Practice, and Life.
Posted in Uncategorized with tags letting go, surrender, Yoga on February 26, 2012 by ronigraceOn the edge of indecision, not knowing when to stop.
To push a little further seems further than I’ve got.
I bend and twist and turn around, trying to let go,
But sometimes trying far too hard is harder than I know.
The stories that we tell ourselves are easy to believe;
That we have ability is harder to conceive.
The strength within is always there, search and you will find
Reaching past that stubborn fear means opening your mind.
So afraid to fall; so afraid to fly.
Ego begins to ask me why I even try.
Answers aren’t easy, and often I concede.
Sometimes no answer is the only answer I need.
Let go.
Challenges present themselves, every time I am here.
All life’s little questions come to whisper in my ear.
They tell me I’m not able, to give a little more;
They make me think that I should be just lying on the floor.
I have to put them in their place, I have to let them go,
Because if I let them win, I know I’ll never grow.
Once I recognize this, and take a deep inhale,
Everything just melts away; I know I cannot fail.
So afraid to fall; so afraid to fly.
Ego begins to ask me why I even try.
Answers aren’t easy, and often I concede.
Sometimes no answer is the only answer I need.
Let go.
To push a little further seems further than I’ve got.
I bend and twist and turn around, trying to let go,
But sometimes trying far too hard is harder than I know.
The stories that we tell ourselves are easy to believe;
That we have ability is harder to conceive.
The strength within is always there, search and you will find
Reaching past that stubborn fear means opening your mind.
So afraid to fall; so afraid to fly.
Ego begins to ask me why I even try.
Answers aren’t easy, and often I concede.
Sometimes no answer is the only answer I need.
Let go.
Challenges present themselves, every time I am here.
All life’s little questions come to whisper in my ear.
They tell me I’m not able, to give a little more;
They make me think that I should be just lying on the floor.
I have to put them in their place, I have to let them go,
Because if I let them win, I know I’ll never grow.
Once I recognize this, and take a deep inhale,
Everything just melts away; I know I cannot fail.
So afraid to fall; so afraid to fly.
Ego begins to ask me why I even try.
Answers aren’t easy, and often I concede.
Sometimes no answer is the only answer I need.
Let go.
