(5) The Thing is famous for its practical special effects, but TRUE FANS know the REAL reason that the film is so brilliant:
It's about an alien force taking over our society one person at a time.
(6) From the trailer:
"This thing doesn't want to show itself. It wants to hide inside an imitation. It takes us over, and then it has no more enemies. Nobody left to kill it. And then it's won."
(7) I knew we were living in Stephen King's "The Stand," but now I can see that we're living in The Thing too.
This is an imitation.
An alien force trying desperately to take over.
(8) In 1982, people knew how to make movies.
They did a "prequel" to The Thing in 2011, and it was garbage.
Here's a very disturbing scene from the 1982 film.
(10) Actually they had TWO flamethrowers to use in a crowd.
Nobody who made the movie knows a thing about flamethrowers.
You can't understand a word, the pacing is awful, and that woman is just rotten.
She sounds like Rachel Maddow.
(11) The 1982 film brilliantly terrified us with paranoia and suspicion.
Everyone who we THOUGHT was the Thing turned out to either NOT be the Thing, or we never found out.
(12) The ending scene of the movie is the subject of entire film courses.
It too bad that John Carpenter turned into such a bitter son of a bitch.
I'd love to hear his take on the fact that we're now living in his movie.
(20) This is actually much WORSE than The Thing, because THESE things are have no rationale.
John Carpenter's Thing was trying to survive.
THESE things are angrily slashing themselves to pieces, AND they're unhappy about it.
(21) It's shrieking again.
Democrats are unable to perceive the utter DISGUST that this thing elicits in the average American.
The abnormality here can't be measured.
(22) The GOOD news is that it's not that bad when your worst dreams become reality.
I used to think about mass insanity all the time.
"Please don't let it happen!" I prayed.
(23) But mass insanity happened...and we're going to do just fine.
The Democratic party must now reform itself or die.
Trump reformed the Republican party.
They tried to resist him, but it wasn't a fair fight.
(24) It was Donald Trump versus the Republican party, the world's press, the world's academia, and every living political donor.
They didn't have a chance.
(26) They used modified M9E1-7 flamethrowers.
The ones in the movie had a pilot light.
In reality, the wand had what are essentially blank pistol cartridges.
(27) A pilot light requires a tank of combustible gas.
Eventually you'll run out of that gas.
The stock flamethrower wand runs out of cartridges only if you use them.
(28) So I would isolate myself from everybody--done--and I would watch very carefully--done--and I would roast anyone who came close.
Haven't done that!